30

Thirty is around the corner and it is impacting me far greater than I ever expected. When was it that I became an adult? Someone with reponsibilities and a husband, and a daughter, a dead mother? Someone who lost the ability to jump up and join in with only a moments notice. Someone who knew how to have fun? Listening to songs of my youth and feeling pangs of longing for the carefree woman I was and grieving for her. I miss her. I feel like a completely different person. And, even though I like who I am now, I still long for the old me. The woman who always got carded for everything and who is slowly not getting carded for anything. This woman who I have become who is starting to notice small wrinkles around my eyes and mouth, evidence of the fun I had. And, even though I know good times are still ahead It is hard to let go of that woman. The one who was in her early twenties and how this woman I am now,almost thirty, misses her.